Fact: false eyelashes were invented by D.W. Griffith, because he wanted to give his leading lady a more dramatic look.
Why do I know this? Because I’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching how-to videos on applying false eyelashes.
And the reason I’ve been doing THAT is because tomorrow night is my company’s holiday party, and since it’s at a Very Fancy Resort, I am taking the opportunity to be Very Fancy. Little black dress, sky-high call girl stilettos (like hooker heels, but classier), dramatic makeup….and false eyelashes, I decided. Of course, I am not someone who wears false eyelashes on a daily basis because really, I have decent enough eyelashes for every day; they’re long and easily curled and look great once I toss some mascara on them. They’re just not all LUSH and DRAMATIC and FULL, and if you saw the call girl stilettos, you would agree that I need eyelashes that are LUSH and DRAMATIC and FULL to keep up with them.
Luckily, I am staying at the resort where party is taking place (free room goes to the meeting planner, hells to the yes!), so I can start trying to apply them like…an hour before the party starts. However, my contact at the resort mentioned something about having champagne waiting for me in the room so it may end up being a drunken, mascara clouded disaster that will never be spoken of again.
Wish me luck!
