Things of Note

July 7, 2010 at 7:28 pm (Absurdity, Friends, General Gobbledygook)
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I bought a new trash can, and it made me much happier than I even thought I would be because of a trash can. Really, if anything screams “BORING MIDDLE AGED SUBURBANITE” it’s getting excited over a new trashcan. But here’s the thing. Our old trash can was one of those plastic ones with the swingy tops that always got caught on the trash we piled into it (because we are Uberconsumers, I swear) and I really, REALLY wanted one of those cool stainless steel ones with the little foot pedal but have you seen how much the big ones are?? EIGHTY DOLLARS. FOR A TRASH CAN. And I’m sorry but my trash can should not cost more than the trash it holds, so I refused to buy one.

But then I was wandering through Sam Walton’s Kingdom of Things Made In China and found this awesome Rubbermaid trashcan for $12. IN RED! So it matches my randomly decided red theme in the kitchen, keeps the dog and cats out of all our trash AND has a nifty lid. I am not at all ashamed to say that I bragged about my awesome $12 trashcan for a few days after I found it.
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I got a used bike, and I love it but I have yet to ride it. And this is because I bought it from my friend who just happens to be a good 4 inches taller than me and when she was fixing it up she neglected to lower the seat so when I sit on it I am barely able to reach the ground with my tiptoes. I am planning on riding it down to the bike shop this weekend and get it adjusted, and then I am going to get my new bike basket mounted and then I am going to make Sophie ride in the basket to the dog park. She gets exercise, I get exercise, win win!

Kevin keeps wanting me to buy a bike helmet despite the fact that California law doesn’t require me to. He forgets that I rode a beach cruiser through the streets of LA for two years without a single fall, injury or car incident. Also, I only get hurt when doing mundane things like walking so I don’t really know what he’s worried about.
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Speaking of car incidents, I got rear-ended last week. And not in the good way (BA DUM DUM!) Instead a dude in a Civic slammed into me, then got out and said “That was totally on me, sorry. My chest hurts.”

One of my friends texted me about it later and asked how badly I beat him up. I managed to resist beating the crap out of the non-attention paying idiot but I cannot promise anything when it comes to the mushroom-headed adjuster who is dealing with my claim. That dude may be in for quite a verbal lashing later this week since so far he has managed to A) not call me within the required contact time limit and B) tried to send me to a body shop near my house instead of my job even AFTER I specifically told him I wanted to go to one near my job.

Anyway, my lower back starts hurting if I sit for more than 20 minutes, wine is the only thing that makes it stop hurting, I wake up with headaches and I do not have time for this shit. So I am trying to fix my car and fix myself and ARGH. Pffbbbt.
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I am watching Rachel Getting Married. Will the wine help or hurt my enjoyment of this movie?
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Susan and Shawn came and stayed with us last weekend and celebrated the 4th of July with us. My parental units were even more charming than usual (thank goodness JM got a full night’s sleep the night before) (and also had 9 pounds of bitterness taken out of her last fall), the fireworks were awesome, and we drank a lot of wine and gossiped and it was like a weekend long summer camp.

I lurve my girls.
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Speaking of my girls, Laura had her baby!!! And he is my cute little boo, Kendrick Monkeybutt Squishy Shmoo. It KILLS ME that I am here and not there, and that I have yet to hold him but I am flying out there over Labor Day and then I will smother him with kisses and loving and cook casseroles for his mother.

AND I just found out that Niblet is going to get a sibling next February so it is Auntie M in full effect up in here.

Also, holy cats, as I typed that I got a text message that JM’s son (my stepbrother for all intents and purposes) just welcomed HIS baby boy (his second) an hour ago. This is why I don’t feel bad about not having babies, people. All these awesome, smart people are having babies around me, and I get to do all the fun stuff with them and just bask in my auntiedom.
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This movie is pretty boring so far. I think I need to find some Law & Order
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I have nothing else to say, so here is a gratuitous picture of Sophie on 4th of July. (And yes, I made the collar. Because that’s how I roll.)

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This is what I sound like in real life, too

March 10, 2010 at 3:39 pm (Friends, General Gobbledygook, Schooling, Weightastic)
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So hey, how about that February that just whizzed by? That was good times, right there. I think I did some stuff and saw some people and maybe did some homework in there somewhere. OH! I definitely went to LA and gave Shawn  the best birthday present EVER (the 1980 Black Barbie, complete with ‘fro, pick and pantsuit!) I also greeted Patrick at the airport with a giant obnoxious sign and ate cupcakes with Trish and Jared. And hung out with my dog and my husband and the little asshole cats.

In other words, I did the whole day to day life thing.

And then March came and Weetacon was finally here and real life went far far away and I cried in a bar about how awesome Wendy Bix is and I ate chicken fried steak at 2:30am (MISTAKE) and I drank the best home brewed beer ever and dropped my Nano in my bathtub and lost my voice and didn’t show my boobs, not even once. And it was magical and sparkly and awesome and then I came home and had to work and ugh.

I have to say, for someone who actually usually enjoys her job and its flexibility (hello, I am writing this entry while scanning business cards), I am easily annoyed by it. Maybe that is why I was told during my review that I tend to be “discourteous when feeling under pressure.” (Apparently that bothers me more than I let on, since I have told that story to oh, 50 people now.)

But I mean come on. There was apparently drama about who was going to answer the door while I was gone (our facility is locked down and people ahve to be buzzed in, whoo whoo TOP SECRET SHIT HERE), because apparently everyone else is JUST TOO BUSY to answer the door. Amazingly enough, they discovered that having to answer the door constantly means that a person gets interrupted all damn day. HELLO, WELCOME TO MY WORLD. Ask me again why the Big Giant Filing Project isn’t done. It’s because I am basically chained to my desk until 2 or 3 in the afternoon, that’s why. And this is why I’m getting an MBA, so I can get unchained from the front desk (By the way, I totally aced Managerial Accounting somehow.)

So anyway, I got to come back and listen to the fall out from that drama and I really just wanted to tell everyone that they were grown ass adults and to stop complaining about it because damn if it’s going to keep me from going on vacations (especially now that we have found out that my coworker is basically the best petsitter ever in the history of the world.) But then I remembered that I really like my coworkers and I really like my hours and I really, REALLY like the fact that my company is actually successful in these uncertain times, so I shut my mouth and ate some chocolate.

Speaking of chocolate, have I mentioned that I have an entire chocolate drawer in my fridge? This is because my dear friend David sells chocolate through Dove, which now has this whole home party enterprise. Think Tupperware but for chocolate. And it’s actual good chocolate so I buy some or I host a party and then whammo, chocolate drawer. I’m like the worst WLS patient in the history of the world.

Speaking of worst WLS patient in the world, I’ve had these weird symptoms lately that sent me over to my doctor asking if there was a possibility that I could be starting menopause early. Or maybe it was my thyroid! Or something! So she took a ton of blood from me (because my doctor does not pshaw her patients’ concerns) and tested me up, down, left and right and declared me perfectly normal. (Aside from the hot flashes and dry skin and usual insanity, of course.) So I’m telling my friend this and drop in there that oh, well, I haven’t been taking my vitamins lately (I KNOW) and she basically smacked me with her eyes and sarcastically said “Oh, maybe you should try taking them then? MAYBE?”

So I’ll start taking them again, I promise. Because I really don’t like the hot flashes. And I hear beri beri sucks.

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What A Difference A Decade Makes

December 31, 2009 at 3:32 pm (Family, General Gobbledygook, Pets, Weightastic)
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Tonight’s the end of a year, and the end of a decade. The year sucked, so I think I’ll focus on the decade instead.

Here’s how it went….

Had a roommate, got a boyfriend. Lost the boyfriend, got him back, traded the roommate for a live-in boyfriend. Got a kitten, lost the boyfriend, watched the world explode, lost my mind, got a new apartment, got some antidepressants and a new perspective.

Got reinvolved with ex-boyfriend, drank in bars with friends, found a therapist, got rid of the ex once and for all. Lost my job, cried on a friend’s couch, then found a new, better job. Broke my ankle, hung out on the internet, met a random dude who lived in Sacramento, got off the antidepressants, got another cat. Sent a LOT of emails to the random dude, gave him my phone number, met him in person.

Had a lot of sex.

Went to a million weddings. Memorized the freeways between San Diego and Sacramento, flew on a lot of Southwest Airlines planes, admitted the random dude was my boyfriend. Went on vacation with him, met my Internet Doppelganger and walked all over Boston. Moved the boyfriend to San Diego, took him to meet the rest of the family, stunned when he didn’t run away.

Went to Washington DC, met more of my Imaginary Internet Friends, not knowing they were the tribe I had been looking for. Cut my hair, colored my hair, rinse, repeat. Got a new job, made more money. Met my boyfriend’s extended family, amazed him by not running away. Walked the Breast Cancer 3-Day, fucked up my feet, got a MRSA infection. Boyfriend tried not to kill doctor for hurting me.

Welcomed 2005 with the boyfriend and the two cats in the same tiny one bedroom apartment in the sketchy neighborhood. Paid off my car! Went to Wisconsin, got drunk, got cold, got engaged. Pulled off a miracle with Weetabix and threw the very last JournalCon in San Diego. Walked the Breast Cancer 3-Day again, managed not to mess up my feet.

Planned a wedding, planned a honeymoon, tried not to have a nervous breakdown. Contemplated eloping and implications of changing my last name. Decided that no one else’s opinion mattered and did what I wanted. Married the random dude, had an awesome wedding, went to Costa Rica.

Changed my name, watched my husband get laid off, hated my job. Apartment in sketchy neighborhood got robbed, lost all our honeymoon pictures (and iPod and computers and Playstation and sense of security). Fell down, broke my wrist, had surgery, got disabled. Liked my job again, husband got new job at my company, but we still prayed for 2006 to end, quickly.

Went back to Wisconsin, celebrated 1st wedding anniversary, thought about major life changes. Became a Big Sister, got an adorable Little Sister, quit all my other volunteer activities. Picked a surgeon, got approval, got weight loss surgery. Lost a lot of weight, really super fast. Started working out, started freaking out, walked the Breast Cancer 3-Day one last time, and finally walked all 60 damn miles.

Wisconsin brought me back again, and we planned our escape from California. Decided to go back to school, questioned my own sanity as I struggled through accounting, suprised myself by being good at the whole MBA this. Got a tiny, flea bitten, mangy kitten, fell in love, questioned my sanity again. Tiny apartment in sketchy neighborhood got more sketchy.

Got a new job, left the safety of my Giant Company for the do-goodness of Tiny Biotech. Made more money, went to Chicago, dressed up in a slutty costume and made out with Jesus. Fell in love with My Tribe a little bit more with every passing year. Went to a million baby showers, threw a million more.

Made new friends, found our doppelganger couple at Laura’s wedding, went to Vegas, went to Wisconsin,welcomed Niblet to the world. Decided to move to the suburbs. Drove across the country with my best friend and her pug. Swam in a pool in Vegas with some of the best people on the Internet or in the world. Got a dog, fell in love with her, watched husband fall in love with her too. Finished another year of school, realized I was almost done, started thinking maybe this whole MBA thing might work out overall.

Watched 2009 kick all of my friends and some of my family and shook my fist in impotent fury. Found a new therapist, ran into old Therapist at coffee shop, marveled at how infinitely different my life and my self are from when she last saw me. Realized I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Rang out the old decade with my champagne in the air and my heart full to bursting. Rang in the new with hope for something better for all of us.

Happy New Year, to you and yours with love.

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Thankful

November 26, 2009 at 5:02 am (Family, Friends, Pets)
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For the fact that when I wanted some coffee tonight, it did not matter to me that I would have to walk to Starbucks because Kevin had the car. It wasn’t across the street, it wasn’t miles away, but it was a decently long walk at night and in the cold. And I didn’t think twice about putting on my shoes and heading out.  Three years ago, I would have simply given up on the idea of coffee because the idea of walking that far would have been enough to keep my ass on the couch. I am not thin, I am not a perfect WLS patient.  I still eat candy cane Joe-Joe’s and macaroni & cheese and drink Diet Coke, but I am stronger and more fit and healthier than I was when I was 18, and for that, I will always be thankful.

For the fact that I had a tiny dog with ridiculous ears in a silly sweater to go with me on that walk.  She is a 12 pound bundle of awesomesauce who loves us beyond reason and is able to cheer us up just by leaping into our arms and wagging her tail so hard that we’re afraid her butt might fly off. Sophie is the best thing to have happened to us this year, and sometimes I think we wished her into existence because she so perfectly fits what we wanted in a dog.  Whatever else I might do with my life, I know that I did one very good thing by saving this sweet little dog from the shelter, and for that I am thankful.

For the fact that my family has been blessed with incredible luck when it comes to health problems this year.  We’ve had two major cancer scares this year, and both of them involved major surgery for people we care about.  We discovered just how uncomfortable hospital waiting rooms are, but tumors were removed and found to be benign and people are recovering and oh my god, 2009 you suck.  I am thankful, thankful, thankful that there are surgeons and hospitals and medical discoveries that have saved the people we love.

For the fact that I married a man who makes me laugh pretty much every day, a man who understands my need to have alone time and doesn’t get offended when I kick him out of the house so I can have that alone time. In our current circle of friends, we’re the ones who have been together the longest, and I am absurdly proud of the fact that we like each other just as much as the newlyweds like each other.  It’s kind of fun being the example of a good relationship, and I am ever so thankful for the fact that we found each other.

For the fact that I have gotten to spend the last six months living in the same city as my best friend for the first time in over 10 years.  Getting to reconnect with her and send my dog to her house for playdates and just getting to pop over to each other’s house has been such a gift.  Not many people can say they’ve been friends with someone for 26 years, and even fewer are able to have friendships as easy and nurturing and lasting as ours. I’m so very thankful that we ended up in the same Girl Scout troop way back when we were sassy 8 year olds.

For the fact that Kevin and I are both gainfully employed, at jobs that allow us to have hobbies and personal lives and pursue degrees.  We have great benefits and good bosses and a commute that is annoying at times but tolerable for the most part. It is a blessing that we’ve both survived this economic downturn, with him working for a defense contractor and me working for a tiny biotech firm, and I am thankful every time I pay a bill that I have the ability to do so.

For the fact that life is very, very good for me right now.  I have an apartment I love coming home to, in a neighborhood that is a weird little slice of middle America in San Diego.  I have a circle of friends that entertains me and supports me and makes me happy to be a part of them.  I am healthy, I am loved, and most of all, I am thankful.

(Also, my husband just walked in the room and handed me a bag of Muscat gummies. SO THANKFUL!)

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Because I’m awesome, that’s why

November 5, 2009 at 11:58 pm (General Gobbledygook)
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So I used to have a blog.  Wait, scratch that.  I used to have an “online diary”. Because I was old school and hard-core and shit.  Anyway, the diary went and disappeared right after I shifted over to The Blog. And then I went and started a whole Other Blog because I apparently thought that I would do better if I compartmentalized my life. And it worked. For awhile.

I guess blogging for 8 years straight wore me out a little though, because sometime around January of this year I just up and quit. I had nothing to say that seemed worth me sitting down and typing things out. And then Twitter and Facebook got all explody and awesome and I suddenly felt like hey, I don’t need to blog anymore! Everything I want to say can be summed up in 140 characters EASY.

Except it can’t, because I never shut up. Not even in my head. (And yes, it is very, very noisy in there.)

Besides, since I last wrote an entry in either blog, I’ve moved, gotten a dog, adopted a new fashion philosophy, gained 10 pounds, moved my best friend back to San Diego and become Auntie M to a whole gaggle of kidlets. In other words, I have a lot to talk about!

So I decided hey, what the fuck. Let’s join the grown ups and get A Domain and merge all the babbling into one place and start remembering how to write more than 140 characters at a time. Baking and living and finances and pets and family and friends and everything else all in one cozy spot.

I feel better already.

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