Catsup/Ketchup

Point The First:
In April, right after I posted that last entry, Kevin was told that he would be losing his job as of June 24th. We did not panic for at least a month because I still have a job and therefore we would still have health insurance even if we ended up living out of our car (because yes, that would be preferable to living with any of our various parental units). So we rewrote his resume and I lit fires under his ass and he’s been looking for a job. Ironically, there is a very good opportunity that has been dropped into his lap that would mean more money, more advancement opportunities, a better group of coworkers and a generally happier spouse. The ironic part is that it is at his current company, so all of my fluttering around redoing my W4 to cover insurance payments and figuring out how we could live on just my salary may be all for naught. Maybe I will instead try and figure out how to live on his salary! Anyway, hopefully we will know something by Friday but in the meantime, I will keep practicing burying my anxiety under layers of sarcasm, tears and wine.

Point The Second:
Last Friday morning, I worked for Company A. By the time I left for the day, I worked for Company B, because a third of my company got acquired/merged/all of the above so the rest of the company projects got spun out into a new company. It took a year to make the deal, 2 months to prep the spin, and we’re all still trying to remember which company we work for when we answer the phone. We have a new logo, which I designed and Leslie’s brother-in-law refined, but I have not yet been allowed to order stationery, and for some reason that is driving me bonkers. (And I just got cc’d on an email from my CEO and damn if he doesn’t have his old email address in the signature. Oy.) Everything that is filed under “Minor, Annoying and Necessary” is something I am in charge of, and for some reason those things just keep popping up and landing on my desk. Which leads me to Point The Third.

Point The Third:
Saturday is my graduation ceremony, when I will receive my MBA in all its glory in front of friends and family and yadda yadda. And my friend is throwing me a party and my mother-in-law is driving down from Sacramento and all of this is leading to a lot of “So what are you going to do now that you have your MBA?” And the simple answer is I don’t fucking know. I feel like Dustin Hoffman except no one is telling me to work in plastics. I have at least figured out that I want to go into project management, but without some actual experience that degree isn’t going to help me much. So I’ve made sure that my CEO and my CSO and my direct boss (who happens to be one of my best friends, AWKWARD) all know that I want to do more than sit at the front and send FedExes and remind people to clean out the fridge (okay, I already do way more than that but sometimes, I am bitter). So the six month plan is for them to start using me to help with existing and new projects and eventually transition me into a new role. I’ve already told Leslie (she who happens to be my boss now) that if the company doesn’t step up there’s no reason for me to stick around much longer than that. Supposedly we will be sitting down in the next few weeks and figuring out exactly what I’ll be doing with the new projects in the coming months. In the meantime, I will continue to be the Most Educated Office Manager.

Point The Fourth:
I am trying to figure out what I am passionate about. I am trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. But I am also so very, very tired of examining myself, going through the minutiae and figure out how to fix things, how to do what I “should” be doing. Maybe I am passionate about being lazy and hanging out with my dog and drinking wine and watching bad TV and worse movies. Maybe I already am what I want to be when I grow up. I have a cute apartment and a good husband and great friends and an okay job and a closet full of dresses. Maybe it’s okay if I’m happy with that and don’t want to chase after something else. Ugh. Now I’m annoying myself so obviously I should shut up.

Back to school

Back in 2007, when I was still working for Big Company, I started tossing around the idea of getting a Master’s in HR Management.  And then I found out that Big Company wasn’t going to be giving us lowly non-exempt employees anymore bonuses so my boss was looking for another way to reward me.  So he said “Go back to school and I’ll pay for it” so I said “Okay!” and happily trotted off to sign up for classes.

Except when I met with my advisor, she said “Hey, companies want their HR managers to have MBAs these days, you should get that instead!” so I said “Okay!” and happily signed up for my first classes: Statistics and Accounting.

And then I died.

Not really but dude, Accounting is a hot mess.  Debits are credits and credits are debits and WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE. But then all of a sudden it made sense.  So I signed up for some more classes.  And then I switched jobs and suddenly I was paying for it myself (thanks, FAFSA and Sallie Mae!!) and whiz bang boom, a year was done.  This weird thing happened.  I kept getting A’s and A-’s and the professors all dug my ponderings and questions and I was kicking ass.  Apparently, this business thing is something I get.

I’m finishing my second year of a three year program right now.  I take these insane 9 week long courses, with a semester’s worth of information crammed into them.  I’ve analyzed the current economy, I’ve created marketing campaigns, I’ve discussed finance until it made my head explode, and holy cats, I’ve wanted to quit about a million times.  A month ago, I was seriously considering just “taking a break.” I knew if I did it would be the longest break ever…..like, YEARS worth of a break, as in”I’ll go back eventually, really.”  Instead, I just started whining about it ALL THE TIME, on Facebook and Twitter and in person and via email.  And somehow I survived, mostly because I have a core group of fellow students that I keep getting to share classes (and projects!) with.

And now it’s November and I’m in my last class of 2009 and I just found out that I get to take next summer off and still finish in January of 2011, because I get to waive one of my required classes.  And that means I only have 5 more classes to take. Five more classes! And then I will be finally done, and I’ll be the most well-educated office manager in San Diego. (Okay, so there’s a little bit of “WTF am I doing this for???” lingering around)

In the meantime though, I’m going to keep whining.  Because that’s how I roll, yo.

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